Sorry that I've been a baaaad blogger, I know, I know. I'll try to be better, really. I'm having internet issues in my room currently though, so when I feel like blogging, my internet is down, and when it's available, I don't feel like blogging.
How was all of your Thanksgivings? Harddddd times for we EDers, huh? I juice-fasted for days before hand so I didn't feel too guilty, and I ate as little as possible. I actually wound up doing two Thanksgiving dinners, one with my dad's family on Thanksgiving Day, and one with my moms fa
mily on Black Friday. Saturday I went shoe shopping, and got my hair dyed. My bangs are blue you guys!!! I'll put up pictures in a little bit.
K is away on vacation for a looooong time, to some tropical island. He spend Friday night in a hotel, and flew out Saturday morning. I don't get to see him until the 13th, and the last time I saw him was Wednesday. And we can't text much(2-3 texts a day) since that would get craaaazy expensive for him. Honestly though I just wish we wouldn't text at all, since now I'm constantly by my phone, waiting for his texts. But whatever, I'll live. Pro is, I'm the opposite of an emotional eater. I'm an emotional starver. When I'm anything but happy, I can't bear to eat. So fasting is going well, I had some grapefruit juice this morning, and 3 shots of espresso. Figure 80 calories.
I went food shopping on Saturday, too. Bought black truffle oil (to accompany the white truffle oil and the white truffle oil with porcini mushrooms I already have), walnut oil, and hot pepper infused oil. I have a thing for fancy oils; I also have rosemary oil, and I recently ran out of peppercorn oil. It's borderline obsession. I also bought organic chunky applesauce, champagne vinegar, and tuna-stuffed olives. I don't know why I spend so much money on all this stuff, considering I rarely use it. I dunno. I have such fucked up attitudes about food.
Now, the most major news. Guess what came Saturday night! That's right- MY PERIOD!!!!!! I'm spotting you guys!!! It's crazy light, barely anything, but it's better than nothing! I don't know why it came, maybe it was the shock of so much more food than usual in my from Thanksgiving; I dunno. I didn't seem to gain any weight. All I know is it's back, and I couldn't be happier. Really this astounds me. Gotta make an appointment with my gyno; see what she thinks.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
I've been a bad, bad girl...
I know. I know, I haven't posted in forever! Even after promising that I would. I wish I had an excuse, but I don't. I've been busy, but not so busy that I couldn't blog. I guess the only reason I haven't been blogging is...I've been...happy.
I only really blog a lot when I'm miserable. But since K and I started dating, I've been on cloud nine. We're like, the cutest couple ever. We kinda make our friends want to puke, even though we try to keep PDA to a minimum. We draw the line at kissing, but cuddling and such is fine. I'm really happy, you guys. And that just means I have no motivation to blog. But I'm gonna try to keep up with it from now on, ok? I felt bad every time I'd look at my computer.
On the ana front, not much has been happening. I eat regular meals every time K comes over to my apartment, though I can get away with only fluids when I'm over at his place. And let me just say, there have been times where I've gone a day with the only thing I've ingested being HIS fluids hehehe. I think he kind of suspects I have an ED\. He'll check up on me to make sure I've eaten something that day, and if I haven't, it doesn't take much to convince him I'm fine and not hungry. He just asked me like...5 min ago over text. I'll probably eventually tell him....but not yet.
I hate to talk so incessantly about K, but there's once more thing I have to say. Whenever I would have sex with anyone, I'd always feel really...gross. I'd obsess over the rolls of my stomach as I bent down, or thinking of the best ways to angle myself so I looked thinnest. But with K....I don't feel like that. I just focus on what I'm supposed to focus on. (For the record, we haven't gone the whole way yet; he's still a virgin and not ready for that). And most stunning, when he calls me beautiful....I actually believe him.
Today, I've been gooood. I've had 2 celery sticks, and a cup of unsweetened black tea. That's no calories, none. So proud of me.I haven't had any significant weight change in a while, about the same since last real post.
So, yeah. I'm hoping to get back into blogging regularly, so expect to see more posts from me. Love you all!
I only really blog a lot when I'm miserable. But since K and I started dating, I've been on cloud nine. We're like, the cutest couple ever. We kinda make our friends want to puke, even though we try to keep PDA to a minimum. We draw the line at kissing, but cuddling and such is fine. I'm really happy, you guys. And that just means I have no motivation to blog. But I'm gonna try to keep up with it from now on, ok? I felt bad every time I'd look at my computer.
On the ana front, not much has been happening. I eat regular meals every time K comes over to my apartment, though I can get away with only fluids when I'm over at his place. And let me just say, there have been times where I've gone a day with the only thing I've ingested being HIS fluids hehehe. I think he kind of suspects I have an ED\. He'll check up on me to make sure I've eaten something that day, and if I haven't, it doesn't take much to convince him I'm fine and not hungry. He just asked me like...5 min ago over text. I'll probably eventually tell him....but not yet.
I hate to talk so incessantly about K, but there's once more thing I have to say. Whenever I would have sex with anyone, I'd always feel really...gross. I'd obsess over the rolls of my stomach as I bent down, or thinking of the best ways to angle myself so I looked thinnest. But with K....I don't feel like that. I just focus on what I'm supposed to focus on. (For the record, we haven't gone the whole way yet; he's still a virgin and not ready for that). And most stunning, when he calls me beautiful....I actually believe him.
Today, I've been gooood. I've had 2 celery sticks, and a cup of unsweetened black tea. That's no calories, none. So proud of me.I haven't had any significant weight change in a while, about the same since last real post.
So, yeah. I'm hoping to get back into blogging regularly, so expect to see more posts from me. Love you all!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
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