Omigosh you guys. Remember how I was talking about my best guy-friend a my birthday party who I'm secretly crazy for? Last night we were texting (I got into a fight with my dad....) and I told him that I was seriously considering moving in with my mom(5 hour trip away), and he told me, in the most awkward way possible, that he's been fantasizing about me. OMG. And then he's all, 'I'm confused about how I feel about you, since I definitely feel more than friends for you, but I'm not sure if I like you." He's so uncomfortable and awkward; it's adorable. I ended up telling him that I would be willing to do whatever he wanted to help him figure things out, be it casual sex, going out, or just ignoring it like the big purple elephant in the room. Of course I hinted that I'd prefer we go on a date sometime, though. So I really hope he decided on that.
I'm so so so happy that he told me, since I had thought that he didn't like me, at all, which led to be feeling like I'm fat, ugly, and worthless. Now that's kind of....lifted a bit. Of course, now I'm not eating at all, so I can look nice if we do end up going out. So, there ya go.
Thanks for the support about my last entry. It really sucks, but I think I can get through it. I looked up statistics, and apparently 80% of women who loose fertility due to eating disorders get em back. That's a promising number. Plus, hey! I save tons of money on tampons, birth control, and condoms...
Food-wise, same as last blog. Shared persimmon and tea. Approx. 100 cals. Ooh, and I'm down to 72 lbs, 14.5 BMI. Just 2.5 lbs, and I'm down to a 14 BMI. How amazing is that?
Aw that's so freaking cute!! And I wish I could say the same about my period. Though it's erratic and pretty fucked up most of the time, it's definitely still there. But I have absolutely no desire to have kids, ever. And when ever I even consider it, I remember how insanely fat you get when you're pregnant - and how its soo hard to lose that weight. If I'm unhappy with how my body is now, there's no way I could live with it after being pregnant lol. You could always adopt! (: Spare your body and save a kid in need. And omfg! Congrats on your weight and BMI, that is stunning!
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